Mounting Pressure

09/11/20

It’s been a while since my last blog post. I suppose this is the result of the autistic cycle of obsessions and executive dysfunction! Lately I have buried myself in Uni work and also in my new business venture with Tropic Skincare. And while I love having goals, I do find myself having to taka a step back and remind myself not to put myself under too much pressure.

Since starting back at Uni I have been reading every minute of everyday in order to keep up. Doing an English Literature degree is very demanding in terms of the sheer amount of reading. On average I read at least 2 books of about 500 pages in one week. This does not include the extra reading of critical essays and it also excludes the seminar tasks and preparations. This is admittedly less reading than in my previous years. But that’s also a lie because I end up doing more because of my dissertation. I have never read so much in my life. Although I’m really enjoying my dissertation, I have to keep my obsessions in check. I can’t afford to get too obsessed in my dissertation otherwise I would fall behind in my other modules. This is difficult for someone who is autistic and lives her life going through stages of obsessions. But this has helped me to learn time management. I’ve now got a week ff for consolidation/reading week and I have accomplished nothing so far. I’ve been having too much sleep if that is a thing. Last night I got about 10 hours and the previous night I got 12 hours and today I’ve still had a 40-minute nap. I can’t shake this tired feeling. I then beat myself up for not doing anything because I am so tired. But I have to remember how much work I have been doing and with this time of my body and brain just needs a rest, and it’s okay to let it do this.

I’ve also been busy doing blog videos for Tropic Skincare which is a new company I have joined as an ambassador. I’ve been using their products for about 5 years and an opportunity came about to be an ambassador. Normally, I wouldn’t do this type of thing as I hate selling and don’t have the confidence, but it has helped a lot with my confidence. I also just love the company because it is all natural, vegan and cruelty free meaning it’s not tested on animals. These are things I’m massively passionate about. They also use their profits to fund and build schools in third world countries including Cambodia. If you know me, you will know I did a voluntary expedition to Cambodia to help those in poverty and it was an amazing experience. This makes me even more passionate about the company. Finally, it’s all environmentally free products and they are aiming to go plastic free too! It’s one of very few companies in the UK to be carbon NEGATIVE meaning the company offset their carbon production by double though conservation work in rainforests. This is also something I did in my voluntary expedition and something I am so passionate about. One of my obsessions Is animals and even plants so really, I wanted to get involved for these reasons. But I have found myself beating myself up for not having made any sales as of yet. So, I need to remind myself to take a step back and remember the reasons why I joined this company. Yes, it would be great to make sales and get people using this as an alternative to harmful products as it would massively save the environment, but I didn’t join because I wanted to be the best seller or succeed in business, I simply joined because I wanted to spread the word about the issues I care about and share my passions with others.

So overall the most important thing I have learned in this time period is not to lose yourself in your goals, remember what you set out to do. It’s very easy for me to dive in and get completely obsessed and this puts me in danger of putting too much pressure on myself. It’s good to have goals, but don’t put too much pressure on yourself to achieve them right away. Keep taking breaks for your own mental health!

If anyone is interested in joining or buying from the company Tropic or wants to know more feel free to get in contact or click the link to my personal shop if you want to browse. https://www.tropicskincare.com/keelyholland

Likewise, if you need any advice or you are going through a tough period, especially at the moment with the new lockdown, then don’t hesitate to get in contact, it’s not good to suffer alone. And with this mew lockdown, as an autistic person its very easy to get lost in your obsessions which is fine when balanced correctly, but I have found that in isolated I get too lost in my obsessions and forget to do the basics such as eating enough and exercising enough which impacts my mental health. So, remember the basics: Eating, Sleeping and Exercising!

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